Bedtime

Bedtime

HA HA HA
goes the doggie in the sea
HE HE HE
goes the voice inside of me
HO HO HO
goes a fat old claus
SNEE SNEE SNEE
goes a motorbyke with flaws

good-nite doggie-we'er putting you too sleep
good-nite voice- I'm taking my pills now
good-nite fat man- the CIA is on to you
good-nite motorbyke- Everyone knows greasers smell funny


NOW OFF TO BED!

Margarette the Mole

Janet was living quite swargedly until her mother, Margarette the Mole, who resided on her cheek decided to file a lawsuit on her husband, Christopher the Callus. She claimed he was with holding information that may prove he is related to her. His second cousins wife, the third decendant of Wallace the Wart, had a siamese twin, who then married a man named Jackson. Jackson, however, had an aunt in Berlin who had a divorced wife who moved to America and met him, who then he then married. He, at the time, did not know that she had a second adopted child that was in fact a third cousin, twice removed from his uncle, Zachary the Zit. Zachary, you see, was a man Siberian. He dated a woman who had a sister who was best friends with Jackson, who she did not know were actually married. After filing a lawsuit of abuse to his children, Zachary divorced his wife, following the trail that his aunt blazed, proving that her ex wife was in fact, unworthy of a spouse. In depression, she died of death, which killed her. Zachary did not even bother to pay for a propal funeral, in disgust, and demanded his filthy rich father to pay. After being forced to attend the wedding, he fled the country, and flew to Berlin to join the rest of his family. His traumatized daughter, Margarette, was traumatized in a traumatic way; what a trauma. Meanwhile, back to Wallace the Wart. Wallace, now, had a great great grandson named Peter the Pimple. Peter the pimple had a son named Christopher. Now, as previously mentioned, Christopher the Callus is the problem of our story. Christopher, as he grew up, became interested in geneology. He was able to trace his family as far back as Berlin, and took the soonest flight to Germany. While flipping through old phone books in a Berlin Cafe, a brilliant looking redhead named Margarette the Mole caught his eye, and he put on his moves. Nine months later, they were married. However, as the story goes, four days after meeting Margarette the Mole, he found in his books that she was in fact related to him, but due to his deep love to her, he with held the information, which has bit him in the ass to this day.

Thus, Rod the Bod and Johnny K have met their death.

Bloop

Mr. Bloop was a happy man. Ocassionally he would pop out of a mouth now and then, for he lived there, but only select few of the population know how to make their bloop apear. It begins with a simple exorcism, and those are easily acheived if you visit a spot known for its population of evil spirits. You will convulse, and twitch with the horror of it, but hopefully, if the spirit performed his part right, you will see Mr. Bloop.

How Johnny K and Rod the Bod Met Their Death pt.2

So Johnny K, Rod the Bod, and Dr. EvileMan are hovered in midair doing a tai kwon doe battle, when suddenly, Dr. Evileman pulls out a DragonBall! Hahahaha! says Dr. Evileman. You cannot defeat me now, for i have (whatever are in dragonballs)! Then with a sly grin, Rod the Bod pulls out a Pokeball! You think you are so clever! he says. Lets see what (whatever are in dragonballs) can do to PIKATCHU!!! Then, to join in, Johnny K says with a smirk. None of you, however can top my YuGiOh triple headed blue silver eyed dragon with reinforced black hole magic and an enhanced iron plating armor bonus, and the cheeseburger special power, refined with ultra cheeseburger cook power!!!! HAHHAHAHAHA!!!
Then, a hindu shaman appears out of nowhere and says No! stop the fighting! We must...have...peace. Then, out of the ground bursts a catholic priest! Oh no! says the hindu. Then, shocking all, it starts raining cats and kamakazee rabbis. ZION 4EVER!! DDDIIIIIIEEEEEE!!!! say the rabbis. Suddenly, they all pull out revolvers and shoot everbody to death, including the cat.

And thus, Johnny K and Rod the Bod have met their death.

How Rod the Bod and Johnny K Met Their Death

Rod the Bod and Johnny K were innocently strolling down a park pathway, glazed with morning dew, as doves flew over their heads. They were holding hands, as any young couple would. Suddenly, from out of the rabbit hole to their left rose a shady ghost like figure, very similar to a dementor. Rod and Johnny were shocked by the sight, and did not know what to think of it. "Hello, I am your death. Pleasure to meet you." Said the creature. He held out a bony hand, and each of them shook it. "Fancy meeting you here!"
"Well," said Rod the Bod "We were in town, and thought that it was such a nice day, so we decided to take a walk, and..." "Ah, yes, it is quite a beautiful day, eh? I brought my wife Bernice. You should meet her. Oh Bernice dearest, you should come out. You wouldnt believe who's here!" A person came out almost identical to the first one. "Oh, my goodness!" She said. She had a much higher voice than the first one. "Children, you must be freezing! I heard there is supposed to be another cold front in tomorrow! Horrible. But lets not linger on the weather. How have you been? Ive been so excited to meet you! Oh! I have to tell you a funny story. So i was in the grocery store, you know, the one two blocks past the flower shop on 25th street? Yes, well anyway, i needed to bake a cake for my dear aunt, we're visiting her this weekend, back in the old country. Hell, if you did not know. So anyways, i was off getting sugar in the aisle, right, and these people start screaming, as if theyve never seen a demonic Hellion! Crazy! So this guy, right, he just goes and walks rightup to me, gun and everything, little NYPD hat, whatever. So he walks up and says, "Who are you, and what are you doing here?" And i think, the nerve! What a man would just walk up and say so rudely! So i says to him "What are you doing here?" And get this, he shook, and ran from me! How insulting! Am i really that ugly? So anyway, i take the sugar, and reached into my pocket book for some cash, but, get this, the cashiers ran off too! I can imagine them getting fired. So, what was i supposed to do? So i up and walk out the door! Harumph!"

While she was going on and on, Johnny K and Rod the Bod snuck out of their sight. Thus, Rod the Bod and Johnny K have met thier death.

The Liberian

Adam was a sensititve librarian, not, as you would assume by the title, a liberian, but in fact a quaint and proper French genteelmen. Adam knew the library from it's inards outwards, and there was not one book in this place of books that Adam didn't know. But one day, he came upon an old rustily book. He had never seen it before, so he went and asked his secretary, Roderick Bodman. Roderick cried out, "What do you think I am, a cheese maker?" So Adam shrugged and walked away, to ask his asisstent. But suddenly, an archer fell from the ceiling and shot Adam with multiple arrows giving him multiple wounds and he died. The End.

The Passing of the Late Danny Carr

On a brighter note, the notorious shrimp bandit, Danny Carr, passed away yesterday. He died of death, which killed him. His wife got remarried to him earlier in the day, because the two were divorced after a previous marriage, and suddenly, they were. Danny was an old cabbage from San Bernardo, and minded his own mumbly-peg.